170+ Funny Love Quotes That Surely Make You Laugh

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funny love quotes

Life is not the same without humor. Whenever we express our love to someone, we don’t always have to look so serious. When you mix your words and actions with a little humor, your loved one will find your moments together more memorable and special. Did you also know that for most women, humor makes them, and their partners, feel and look sexier and more attractive? Throwing funny and cute words of love to your partner gives a whole new meaning to your relationship. It makes both of you feel more comfortable with each other, thus, making the relationship last.

To be with a person you adore the most already brings a smile to your face.  However, the funny and entertaining moments you share will make you crave for each other’s presence even more.

We want to help put a little color to your relationship by sharing some of the funniest love quotes we could find. We hope these quotes make you laugh and bring you closer to each other now more than ever!

Funny Love Quotes

1. My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan. – Leopold Fetchner

2. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jackie Mason

3. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – David Sedaris

4. Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller

5. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

6. Love is sharing your popcorn. – Charles Schultz

7. Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.

8. Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. – English Proverb

9. Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. – Judith Viorst

10. I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. – Chico Marx

11. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers

12. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

13. A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. – Spanish Proverb

14. He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. – Ring Lardner

15. Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. –  Jean Kerr

funny love quotes

16. Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. – Fran Lebowitz

17. Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t.

18. Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. – Phyllis Schlafly

19. Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake.

20. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. – Cindy Garner

21. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jackie Mason

22. According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets.

23. If love is a blunder, then it means that the biggest fault in my life is loving you.

24. Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back.

25. My head and my heart will never cease their endless war. When my head says ‘I don’t care, my heart says ‘I do care’. When my head says ‘I’m not thinking about her, my heart says ‘of course you do.’

26. It is not love that makes a relationship complicated; it’s the people in it who do.

27. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein

28. Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. – Thomas Dewar

29. Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns

30. I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. – Elizabeth Evans

31. The four most important words in any marriage. I’ll do the dishes.

32. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles M. Schulz

33. Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen

34. If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. – Miles Davis

35. My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day until I met you.

36. Don’t feel bad if you see your ex with someone else. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don’t need to the less fortunate.

37. I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole.

38. During my days, the teenagers talk about movies, music and love. Now, all the kids talk about are sex, relationship and heartbreak.

39. Love is like a headache or a backache. It does not show in the MRI or X-ray, but you just know that it’s there.

40. Staying in love for more than 5 years is almost impossible. Staying in love with the same person for you’re the rest of your life is a miracle.

funny love quotes

41. Marriage does not only require you to deal with expenses and the toilet seat, you also have to deal with feelings and the last resort, the lawyers.

42. Promise yourself not to be a woman who needs a man to live, but a woman a man needs.

43. You will always be my 11:11 and the name I write in my naughty list.

44. Girls cry their eyes out until they are dry, while boys drink their beers until their mugs are all dried up.

45. I wish there’s a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go and slow down when I took this road of falling in love.

46. I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night and your most painful goodbye.

47. Stop waiting for your prince in a white horse. Go and find him. The poor bastard might be lost, stuck in an island or something.

48. To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.

49. Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. – J. P. Senn

50. My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. – Elayne Boosler

51. When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. – Richard Lewis

52. Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. – Kathy Mohnke

53. Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. – Franklin P. Jones

54. Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. – Bill Maher

55. My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. – Ray Romano

56. Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. – Professor Irwin Corey

57. A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

58. What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday. – Cindy Garner

59. Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen

60. If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. – Katherine Mansfield

61. Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. – Bettina Arndt

62. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal

63. You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.

funny love quotes

64. You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make everything better.

65. Loss for words? Give that person a hug. It’s worth a thousand and more. Plus, it’s free.

66. You’re the cheese on top of my spaghetti, the cream on top of my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake.

67. You are the cause why my eyeglasses fog.

68. A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer and the corniest person in the room.

69. I want someone who will pause his game just to answer my call.

70. You’ll know a person is in love when he can laugh like a fool by himself and keeps a goofy smile plastered on his face all day long.

71. Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. – Carroll Bryant

72. A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

73. Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.

74. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? – Jean Illsley Clarke

75. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

76. True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. – Francois de la Rochefoucauld

77. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. – Pauline Thomason

78. Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. – Helen Gurley Brown

79. I had a dream that i still loved you. I think I woke up screaming. – Christine

80. Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills. – Jessica Martin

81. It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. – Lucille Ball

82. I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.

83. A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. – Les Dawson

84. People should fall in love with their eyes closed. – Andy Warhol

85. If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. – Chelsea Peretti

86. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. – Will Ferrell

87. I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. – Russell Brand

88. I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

funny love quotes

89. If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. – Chelsea Peretti

90. Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. – Natasha Leggero

91. I’m now making a Jewish porno film. Ten percent sex, 90 percent guilt. – Henny Youngman

92. My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me. – Garry Shandling

93. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. – Richard Jeni

94. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? – Lily Tomlin

95. Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. – Jerry Seinfeld

96. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers

97. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. – Chelsea Handler

98. Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns

99. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

100. Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen

101. If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. – Fran Lebowitz

102. Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. – Richard Pryor

103. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. – Chris Rock
104. My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. – Rodney Dangerfield

105. I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. – Johnny Carson

106. My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. – Elayne Boosler

107. My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. – Ray Romano

108. I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. – Jack Benny

109. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

110. Women love a self-confident bald man. – Larry David

111. Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. – Billy Crystal

112. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. – Steven Wright

funny love quotes

113. My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships nowadays.

114. If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards. – J.A. Redmerski

115. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford

116. My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me… Never getting it back. – Refinnej Sin

117. You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale. – Hussein Nishah

118. In any perfect relationship men should remember it’s a matter of direction; she takes what’s right and you take what’s left. – Solitaire Parke

119. Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore. – Bree Luckey

120. My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met. – Rodney D

121. Love is like finding a needle in a haystack. – FaithHopeNLove

122. Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. – Jewish Proverbangerfield

123. We’re like Romeo & Juliet.. Except for the dying part of course. – Justina

124. The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history. – Quoteistan

125. Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. – Judith Viorst

126. Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – Cathy Carlyle

127. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

128. The more she turned right the more I turned wrong. – Mark W. Boyer

129. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal

130. If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. – Katherine Mansfield

131. Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. – Fran Lebowitz

132. In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. – Rowland

133. Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. – Richard Jeni

134. In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. – Woody Allen

135. Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.

136. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. – Tim Allen

137. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? – Lilly Tomlin

138. The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? – Freud

139. People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. – Bob Hope

140. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. – Pauline Thomason

141. Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. – Oscar Wilde

funny love quotes

 

142. Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. – Tommy Dewar

143. Love is being stupid together. – Paul Valery

144. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. – David Bissonette

145. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford

146. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. – George Carlin

147. I love you and it’s getting worse. – Joseph E. Morris

148. Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. – Jules Renard

149. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein

150. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. – Lemony Snicket

151. Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce

152. As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy. – Ralphie May

153. The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. – Coleridge

154. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henry Youngman

155. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller

156. My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante

157. I solemnly swear I am up to no good especially when I am all alone with you.

158. You are the pain in my butt, the dent in my wallet and the scratches in my brand new car that I don’t mind.

159. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

160. In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. – Rowland

161. Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist. – James Garner

162. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie

163. I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since. – Arturo Toscanini

164. Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. – Helen Gurley Brown

165. This is as close as I can get to describing it – a hot pancake with butter melting on top and a steaming cup of coffee as soon as I open my eyes. That’s how wonderful it is to wake up knowing you are mine and I am yours.

166. Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. – Helen Rowland

167. I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. – Johnny Carson

168. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – David Sedaris

169. Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. – Joyce Brothers

170. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

171. When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

172. When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

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Written by We Wishes

WeWishes is an online collection of inspiring quotes, motivational stories, biography, festival events on every aspect of life where you would be able to find the value and power of yourself.

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