Following Up After the Date Without Looking Desperate

Published:Nov 16, 202319:14
Following Up After the Date Without Looking Desperate

It’s finally happened – you’ve trawled through all the best dating sites, met someone, and had a great night. The thrill of a first date, however, can often be followed by the drama of wondering what, and when, to message them the next day. Agonizing over this question won’t help much – it’ll only add to the stress and possibly make you sound desperate when you do reach out. We’ve compiled some answers for you on that age-old question: to text after a date, or not to text after a date?

What to Text After Date Night?

The question of what to text after a date is, really, a bit simpler than the question of when to text. When it comes to thinking of something to say to your date, you should say what you feel – within reason. Sometimes it’s obvious when a date has gone well. There are few, if any awkward silences, you’ve got loads in common, and your banter is on point. In cases like these, you can afford to say what’s on your mind: that you had a great night and would love to do it again!

If the date was a little more tepid, however, you might want to play it slightly cooler. If you push too hard, despite an obvious lack of chemistry, your date may think you’re desperate. It can come off as if you are more interested in just having a relationship with anyone than getting to know them specifically. A polite but slightly formal message to say thanks for coming out will suffice.

Person Holding Smartphone

After Date: Who Should Text First?

When it comes to dating, none of us want to show our hand too early. We don’t want to be the party that goes out on a limb, texts someone after a date, and never hears back. This is part of what makes dating scary as no one likes to feel rejected.

After Date Rules for Men

When it comes to dating, men tend to be more direct and more full-on in the initial stages.This can be great as it shows that you’re not afraid to get what you want and is a perfect way to show your interest. However, sometimes this level of intensity early on can be off-putting.

It can also send the wrong message if you and your date don’t know each other well. She may think you’re serious about a relationship and feel disappointed if things don’t work out. To craft a perfect after date text to girl partners hold off from making any grand declarations after the first meeting. Keep it cheeky and light instead.

After Date Rules for Ladies

Ladies let’s be frank, it’s 2020 and you can text whoever you want whenever you please! The old three-day rule for texting after a date is old-fashioned. If you’ve got something to say to your date, then go ahead and say it.

That said, however, you may find that some men may find it clingy if you message too soon after a date. If the date went well, then a flirty but light message the next day will likely land well. If you’re less sure, however, wait a couple of days before messaging to check-in. A perfect after date text to guy partners will signal your interest and encourage them to flirt back, without coming across as needy.

What to Do After Date: Dinner and Then Some?

Every so often you go on a date that goes so well you just don’t want it to end. How do you keep the fun going without scaring your date off? Well, usually when this happens it’s a mutual thing. However, if you want to build this option in beforehand, why not make a casual plan with them and suggest something to do after your initial meet-up?

If your plan is to go for drinks, send a message beforehand and suggest somewhere you could go to eat afterward if things are going well. This shows that you’re keen but leaves the plan flexible in case the date isn’t a hit. You can always change the plan if things go wrong.

Couple Kissing


Figuring out when to message someone after a date is unique to every single date and to every couple. Some people will think nothing of sending multiple texts the morning after. Others will find it desperate if you message the next day. Remember that you don’t have much control over how others perceive you and, at the end of the day, you can only be yourself. Try to play it cool and keep a sense of perspective when you contact your date as this will help you maintain your dignity even if you’re let down. We hope our tips will help you navigate the dating world.Final Call: How long do you usually wait to message someone after a date? Have you ever had someone come on really strong or been dumped because they thought you were too clingy? Share your dating stories in the comments!

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