When your marriage is in trouble, it's easy to think that it's time to throw in the towel. Sometimes giving up can feel like the only logical choice. But with some committed efforts, you may be able to reroute your relationship toward a better outcome.
Read on to learn how to save your marriage!
Be Open and Honest
Working to save a marriage requires being transparent with your partner. You likely have some concerns about your relationship that got you to this point. The best way to move forward is to acknowledge these concerns to each other.
It can be helpful to enlist the assistance of a marriage counselor during this process. They can help mediate the conversation when things get heated or uncomfortable.
Don't try to cover everything at once, either. It's better to focus on smaller conversations and allow space between them. That way, you can regroup and digest what you've heard.
Unloading lots of difficult information at once can feel like an onslaught. Avoid this scenario with a more measured approach to communication. Consider keeping a journal, too, as you work through your feelings.
Commit to Listening
If you're hoping to avoid using a divorce lawyer, you'll need to listen to your partner. Even if you disagree with what they're saying, it's critical to let them have a voice. They should do the same for you.
Listening is a gesture of caring. It shows that you're willing to withhold your opinions to learn from someone else. It acknowledges that you're not always right.
In the context of a marriage, it's an act of humility. You're saying that the other person has something valuable to contribute, and you're willing to let them have the floor.
Your partner may have insights or share feelings to which you were completely oblivious. And sometimes, you'll even be able to get to the heart of the problem sooner when you stop talking and let the other person speak.
Learn to Forgive Eachother
One of the hardest parts of confrontation is the aftermath. You can choose to hold a grudge or turn away from someone entirely. Or you can choose to forgive and move forward.
To save a marriage, forgiveness is key. And the concept probably was embedded in the text of your vows and the promises you made.
Your partner may have cheated, lied, or otherwise done something to hurt you. Sometimes these offenses may be hard to reconcile and forgive. If you've invested in the relationship and your partner made one mistake, forgiveness may be easier to embrace.
Keep in mind that forgiveness takes time. You may not be able to do it right away. And you may need to take time away from each other to process your feelings.
Talk with trusted confidants or a marriage counselor. Weigh the ramifications of choosing not to forgive. Listen to your gut as you chart a path forward.
Focus on One Problem
When you're trying to save a failing marriage, it can feel like you're up against a wall of problems. Rather than tackling everything at once, focus on one at a time.
For example, you may not feel like your spouse appreciates you. The workload could be uneven. And you could feel like you're carrying the load.
Express this concern to your spouse as the driving force behind your marital strife. With some effort from your spouse, this problem can be fixed.
They may need to be more intentional about showing affection. Even small gestures, like a written note or verbal sentiment, can go a long way.
As another example, maybe there was a betrayal that disrupted the sense of trust in your relationship. If both parties contributed to this, each person should commit to repairing trust through more transparent actions.
Remember Your Spouse's Best Traits
What drew you to your spouse in the first place? It may have been their sense of humor or chivalry. Or perhaps it was their intelligence, adventurous spirit, or persistence.
As you reflect on the negatives, make room for the positives. Spend time writing down your spouse's best traits. Sometimes this simple reflective act can help you remember how much the good outweighs the bad.
Let your spouse know that you see those traits, too. When anger becomes the dominant emotion, it can cloud everything else. And you want your partner to know that you see what they do well.
Don't play the blame game. While it may be tempting to balance your positive feedback with some negatives, don't do it. Even if your partner doesn't reciprocate the efforts, don't stoop to that level.
Ultimately, though, sometimes even the most valiant efforts won't work. And maybe you and your spouse simply have grown apart. Learn about divorce in Arizona if you're not able to rebuild your relationship.
Build a New Connection
Finally, try focusing on creating a new connection with your spouse. If you have a history littered with hurtful actions, grow from them. And then start anew.
Building a new connection can mean committing to a weekly date night. Make sure to get a sitter for the kids so you can make your relationship the priority.
Consider going for a weekend getaway where you turn off all electronic devices. That way, you won't be tempted to revert to looking at distractions. Instead, you'll be able to dig deeper.
Or join a club where you can indulge in a new hobby together. Maybe there's a local hiking group or bowling club you can join. You'll be able to have a shared experience that can give you something fresh to look forward to and talk about.
Save Your Marriage
To save your marriage from divorce, you'll need to commit to honest and open conversation. Be a supportive listener, too, and acknowledge your role in any wrongdoing. Focus on listening so you can be a more attentive partner and give your marriage the effort it needs.
Find more tips to keep your relationship on the right track. Come back soon to find more articles!